tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72951036375925690722024-02-21T08:44:04.103-08:00the marijuana experimentthis blog is to document the effects of marijuana for medical purposes on myself. i am a fairly conservative born-again christian thirty-something and live with a mental illness. i hope to decide in the several months of the experiment whether its ok on my religious conscience, my mental health and my physical well-being. i also will decide if i am going to pursue a medical marijuana card.the marijuana experimenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01960857261217246533noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7295103637592569072.post-82662662287445446972013-07-20T22:08:00.000-07:002013-07-20T22:08:00.033-07:00goodie bag<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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today i went to my first medical marijuana potluck. there were raffle prizes and everyone got a goodie bag. i was expecting a ball point pen, post it notes and maybe some brochures and stuff like that. instead, it was full of cannabis products! although i did not win anything in the raffle, there was a conservative looking middle aged couple near me that gave me this jar of glycerine for making tinctures. i also got, pictured lower left, a baby food jar of oil tincture. the rest of the stuff i got in the bag was: 2 bags of clippings to make tinctures and butter, a cigarette style joint, a baggie filled with candies plus a few chewy candies, some kind of cookie piece that tastes like lawn clippings, a couple of huge beautiful fresh buds, and a tiny cupcake that i thought was half cooked until i cooked it to find out it was a creme filling! there were also representatives from clubs and dispensaries and one very clean cut young man was passing out very nicely stuffed joints. also pictured is some reading from various sources that are available... oh yeah, all the candies and sweets are edibles or what they call 'medibles'<br />
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they left me a note to wait an hour between taking any edibles because the effects come later. i am so sensitive, i can feel it right away<br />
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oh yeah, pictured on the left lower corner is a folded pile of papers that is now my identification before my card comes in the mail. until they print my card, i get this month or two basically for free<br />
also, people kept giving me bags of clippings, i want to figure out what i can do with them<br />
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it's cool to have all this stuff legal, but im still wanting to be anonymous... i hope im helping folks to make an informed decision. i was thinking of how church culture does not seem to demonstrate moderation. all of the drug testimonies you hear in church started with pot and went into careless living, most of the time leading to hard drugs. then they quit everything only to go nuts again a few years later. there is also not a lot preached about moderation when it comes to prescription medication and especially over eating! i wish most churches can accept folks like us, especially those of us who are medical marijuana patients. then there are folks on disability, that i think we should honor. its nice that dispensaries mention wheel chair access and stuff. it really can be a very welcoming, warm and supportive community. they are very strange as you can imagine. one old lady kept repeating about her tincture making and was repeating 'shake the baby'. what a cruel expression. i think she was shook as an infant.<br />
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although my experiment about whether or not it was ok for me to use cannabis is over, i am now trying to figure out a good treatment plan. now that its ok in my life, its ok in my house! i dont have to worry about my nosey neighbors who dont know the difference between medicinal and harmful illegal drugs. it is also piece of mind, because i find it very stressful dealing with police.<br />
some day i hope to have a few plants to grow and learn how to make better sweets and stuff. so now, im just trying to be careful about different ways to medicate and how much the various ways to take it. i find that if i take more than i should, it stays in my system and makes me so spacey. i would even be high the whole next day without taking anything, especially if i exercise a lot, that can release the stored thc. i notice that i dont get enough done, but its hard to tell if that is depression as well. when i started this a year and a half ago, i experienced better pain relief and now i have to take about twice as much to get the same effect but i get more high than i want. so i try to do it only at night, but i admit that i have been a social smoker a lot lately.<br />
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well, i hope seekers of cannabis treatments can take these dilemmas to prayer and study if you are a devoted christian. you may find that it is not for you, or that maybe God has a different plan for you.<br />
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thanks for reading,<br />
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roman zate<br />
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<br />the marijuana experimenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01960857261217246533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7295103637592569072.post-77676579446831839202013-07-18T23:00:00.001-07:002013-07-18T23:00:17.418-07:00dispensaries!!!a lot has happened in the last eight months!<br />
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most of my experiences with my further experiments with hemp products have been pretty positive. i still struggle with some confusion surrounding my christianity and my use of the drug. whenever you introduce something into your life that you were against doing, there is a process of changing your mind and being sensitive to your conscience. i just cant dive in head first. i think it is similar to when i started being ok with my sexuality after running from it for over a decade. there have been a handful of times where i go to 'medicate' and i can sense in my spirit, 'do i really need that?' so, i am trying to take it when i need it, not because i crave it, like food addiction... another thing is that i dont want to become emotionally addicted to it, like, and this sounds corny, but new users can agree that we can 'fall in love' with it. i also want to take anxieties and racing thoughts to prayer and contemplation before i go to medicate. i dont want pot to take the place of christ in my life.<br />
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so, this week was the first time i could get into dispensaries! i have long crazy stories about the medical marijuana process and how flakey everything seems to be. my impression overall based on my experiences, and this may hurt our cause by saying this, but the whole 'medical' thing seems to not be taken seriously. it really seems like a front for those who are recreational users. none of the professionals in the clinics and dispensaries seemed to have any confident advice about certain conditions! i am not really being 'treated' for anything as far as i am concerned. even though they were mostly very friendly and took a lot of precautions, there was a feeling of that i was just to get what ever pot that i wanted. i will try to shed more light on this as i experience more. i did have a bad trip on a 'free sample' i tried. the young lady reminded me of a taco bell worker in training. she was vague, then after i tried the strong hit of oil, she suddenly 'remembered' how paralyzing that stuff was! it was very insulting. i did find a way to walk it off and had food and coffee. i also tried to enjoy the experience instead of feeling guilty or afraid. things got much better after a few hours.<br />
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another new thing is that pot is really helping me perform music. i found i was actually more focused musically, i could 'feel' the music better and much to my surprise, i played more rhythmically... i may elaborate more in that later. i have a tendency to be uptight because of my musical background, so its nice to find a way to loosen up and get over some of my stage fright.<br />
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i had some fun money come in recently and bought a pax vaporizer! its really nice, but i admit it is a bit of a status symbol.<br />
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<a href="http://www.ploom.com/pax">http://www.ploom.com/pax</a><br />
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thanks for reading, and sorry for the long delay,<br />
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roman zatethe marijuana experimenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01960857261217246533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7295103637592569072.post-13348622843393188502012-12-15T15:46:00.001-08:002012-12-15T15:46:13.577-08:00I have decided it is OK for me as a practicing Christian to use cannabis <br />
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It's late Fall 2012 and the experiment has been pretty much "over" for some months now...</div>
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I have decided it is OK for me as a practicing Christian to use cannabis </div>
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I got frustrated trying to get my medical card so gave up for a while. This clinic was flakey and trying to work with the wrong doctor and I just did not see the use...</div>
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I still am using the three types I was given last Winter and taking them quite regularly but in small doses. Apparently, compared to most folks I know, a little goes a long way for me. I can roll a tiny ball (about the size to fit in the eraser holder of a standard pencil) and smoke that for a day or two. I am just keeping them in plastic bags and I guess it's loosing its potency. </div>
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I have dated about 4 folks this last year who smoke grass. I also have met a lot of other Christians that smoke it. I have tried about three other types and some just put me to sleep. I experimented a week or so ago to smoke it every night to get off of benadryl that I take for sleep and it was OK, I jus found myself getting up too early anxious which is a bad thing for me. A lot of times I would wake up quite refreshed.</div>
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This fall I also made some Train Wreck brownies that were great. Over all, I have had good experiences and it seems to be a part of my life at least 4-5 times a week, sometimes daily. It's great for my...</div>
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Back pain</div>
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Anxiety</div>
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Depression</div>
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Sleep</div>
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Breathing</div>
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Hooray for Washington state! looks like the west coast is winning the battle against prohibition </div>
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Thanks for reading, and God Bless</div>
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Roman Zate</div>
the marijuana experimenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01960857261217246533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7295103637592569072.post-29806177791200104942012-06-27T12:24:00.003-07:002012-06-27T12:26:51.095-07:00spring 2012 - leftovers!spring 2012 was pretty good to me<br />
i was no longer in a band, and felt pressure to get high with the other players and did not have the strength to not get so into that<br />
i really want to smoke to relieve anxiety and back pain<br />
i have found that a tiny ball i roll and put into a pipe the size of the tip of a sharpee pen will last me two or three days and i will keep it for about a week until it turns completely into ash<br />
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this may be bad because it tastes so stale after a day, but its economical<br />
i also take in even more air with the smoke because its a vented pipe<br />
but the other night, while dealing with severe restlessness i placed a larger amount and took in a lot of smoke<br />
just one or two hits like that and i started feeling high, just a bit too much but it helped me cope i admit<br />
other than that, spring was a pattern of smoking about every week, 1-5 times with the exception of a few weeks out of state<br />
i think the strong hit three days ago has given me a deep sore throat and some coughing issues - i feel like i got burned and its really bothering me<br />
i often have sore throats anyway and this week i am really sensitive to stuff in the air but it feels like its healing though...<br />
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i feel like my experiment is officially over, yet there are still some things i want to get clear about before i feel like this is to be a regular part of my life<br />
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one of my closest friends who is in drug and alcohol recovery told me of a real pot user that he was thinking of dating said that this user was mean and harsh on grass? i don't know... i asked him if he was sure that there was no other drugs involved but did not want to talk about it more for fear of revealing my status because that would really mess up his recovery<br />
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i also am thinking of dating a guy who lives out of town that is an avid medical marijuana user, its nice to have this in common and he seems respectful of how little i use<br />
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i need to see my chiropractor this summer again because in order to get a medical card, it looks like i need a letter from this dr and the pain needs to be chronic which it was not too bad last winter but is not daily<br />
<br />the marijuana experimenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01960857261217246533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7295103637592569072.post-62360577479076538302012-06-27T12:11:00.000-07:002012-06-27T12:28:39.394-07:00what a disasterwhat a disaster...<br />
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i had a really bad experience in feburary<br />
i was doing live music one night and thought i would give it a try and i smoked a hit with a few very small puffs after that and in an hour or so i totally became unable to do anything at all<br />
turns out that that what i was given was this type of grass that was called zz, and i had never tried it - its known to put some folks to sleep<br />
within a few songs in the gig, i could hardly sing, i could not seem to get the right volume from my instrument i was so out of it and that if something upset me, it was like everyone was in my head<br />
it got me so anxious that it caused me to shut down which made me even more afraid making a sort of downward spiral - then my hands felt heavy like i could not lift them then my head sank down<br />
i was so embarrassed and the others tried to help me but i waited until i was able to muster up enough strength to leave - i walked a few blocks in the cold night air to wake me up and found a grocery store where i got a starbucks energy drink and a sandwich - i felt a lot better in about an hour, but i have less trust in myself to make informed enough choices in these kind of circles<br />
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i did have a nice valentines day, my ex came over and he brought a little grass he called blue sunshine or something - i tried it a few times after that and it gave me the giggles - i would take a few hits in the middle of the simpsons and then laugh through the second half, not the first half of the show<br />
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its weird how different kinds of grass can have such different results<br />
i was given something called 'train wreck' and it was very stony, but the stuff that smells like lemons is pretty mellow<br />
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i sure learned my lesson about smoking while working, driving and with others - especially with trying out new kinds of grass<br />
also, it may have had something to do with a piece of homemade chocolate that i got from a few hippy ladies... i have so much to learn..the marijuana experimenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01960857261217246533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7295103637592569072.post-54643302053683054172012-02-09T00:16:00.000-08:002012-02-09T00:16:45.289-08:00update on medical card, cold season issues and happiness<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://dakubrand.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/medical-marijuana-sign.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="174" src="http://dakubrand.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/medical-marijuana-sign.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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i got the courage to ask my doctor about getting a medical marijuana card for anxiety and he said not to pursue it only if i had everyday back pain - well, my back never really feels good, but i dont go through bad enough pain all the time enough to want to try to convince a dr about, but there are medical marijuana doctors i hear that will find a way - but even my friends wont do it because they are like so not worried about getting caught - i also hear it costs about $300, which is cool<br />
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thanks to my buddy who gave me the little glass pipe i have been using - honestly i dont think i have the guts to go to a head shop and buy one yet - something funny happened though last month when guys were passing the pot around that i was still considered not a smoker<br />
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i have had a bad cough for over a month and it started shortly after i burned my throat kinda bad on a big hit - i thought it aggravated it, and tried it again a few weeks after that when i started feeling better and the same thing happened - i have a very sensitive throat and it seems to be prone to infection if irritated like getting hoarse or something<br />
then, i had a cough last night, like an annoying tickle that would not go away so i smoked a bunch of very light drags taking in a lot of air<br />
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well i felt great! the cough went away - i am perplexed and not sure if pot has much effect positive or negative<br />
i do feel that i need to be careful not to take in a lot of strong smoke though<br />
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i tried filling a tiny amount in my pipe to see if i could smoke every bit of it - took me a few weeks and it gets a bit stinky sitting in a drawer instead of putting in fresh bud every time - i found i could smoke it until it was just ash - i have more coming to me though, but i am being stingy with what i have though - gosh, a little sure goes a long way, at least for me!<br />
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my new cat does not like catnip and does not react to the smell of it<br />
she does though, seem to look puzzled and surprised when i exhale after taking in some smoke, it is so funny...<br />
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i am also involved in a writing project where i am remembering stories of some brutal religious abuse i suffered in the past<br />
i have found that smoking just enough to get me happy and not too much so i dont get spacy, really helps<br />
i realized that it can numb painful emotions and it has really come in handy 2 or 3 times while writing<br />
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i also decided not to smoke early in the day because i am concerned about getting intense fatigue and depression later on in the day<br />
i do find that i can wake up feeling really good the next morning if i take some about 3-4 hours before bedtime - i get really wound up (like tonight in fact, its after midnight) late at night and take things for sleep most nights - i dont have to really do this if i smoke in the evening<br />
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i have a weird theory about why hippies that are really stoned flop their heads around, maybe ill share about that some day...the marijuana experimenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01960857261217246533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7295103637592569072.post-22183009118007959142012-01-25T22:51:00.000-08:002012-01-25T22:51:05.855-08:00depression and anxietyliving with depression and anxiety, i have wanted to see how marijuana effects my moods. so far, its been good for any minor anxiety attacks or feeling too wound up in the morning. i have been trying to get to sleep earlier so i can be up with the sun, and i find smoking a little after 9pm is quite nice. i have tried it in the morning a few times and within 2-4 hours i go into a deep emotional depression and fatigue. in fact the last time i wrote was just before i crashed really bad after that. it was really bad...<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://psych.wisc.edu/auger/images/head.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://psych.wisc.edu/auger/images/head.jpg" width="274" /></a></div>i've done it now three more times since my last entry, and all at night. i tried to do some music recording after some hits sunday night and i seemed to play pretty well except i forgot to hook up one of the mics so i had them redone anyway. so, it goes to say that you can be creative on it but not very practical. although, i have done some very emotional intense writing projects lately and found that just a little smoke helped me loosen up a bit, i also think sexual activity can be more intense too<br />
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i talked to a few friends and a guy at the mental health agency who decided for some reason to start talking about marijuana and when i mention recently trying it again, they say they do it and know a lot about it. even one guy i know that works at a church...<br />
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thanks chuck in nj for the recipe, that's better advice than what i got from a friend<br />
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trying to get into bob marley again...<br />
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i had a really bad chest cold for much of this month and smoking was not helping... so i tried taking in a lot more air with the smoke and that had helped me not cough<br />
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i still have a lot of issues, and i should write them another time...<br />
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and thank you for smokingthe marijuana experimenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01960857261217246533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7295103637592569072.post-84225636152176380822012-01-08T13:08:00.000-08:002012-01-08T13:11:18.897-08:00second month - smoking with others and drivingthis last week was quite unhappy for me<br />
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i hurt my back really bad - and i took a few big hits one night and it put me to sleep<br />
i took a fresh bud and pulled a piece off and this time i rolled it up before i put it in the pipe and it was too intense to hold it in - i also made some pot pancakes which was fun but i don't feel anything with them except maybe a syrup high!<br />
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taking a lot like that after my surgery made me concerned that i would have those complications i had in my 2nd and 3rd week of my eyes feeling messed up and stuff - i did not have that problem this time and i think as i go into week 4 of my prk recovery it feels ok to get back into some smoking<br />
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today i woke up feeling really bad, emotionally, mentally and physically - i tried a few very small hits with my morning coffee and felt really good - i happened to have some worship music playing and i felt like praying, it was a good sunday morning - i play music in church tonight and it would be funny if i told them about my pot and prayer story!<br />
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yesterday i was around my pot smoking friends and they offered me some - i denied it like i always do - i am still afraid to get high with others because of my painful experiences i had in my late teens - i am also afraid of not being able to play music right and messing up<br />
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the biggest fear i have of taking it outside of my home is that i eventually have to drive home and i am so scared of driving bad and/or being pulled over even though people have assured me that those are not really big issues - i am taking this all very slowly and i think its better to be overcautious then jump into something too fast<br />
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i am grateful for my friends who have provided for me and encouraged me in this process - thanks hippies! i was told a hippie joke: how can you tell when hippies have stayed at your house? they are still there!the marijuana experimenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01960857261217246533noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7295103637592569072.post-218307404458751902012-01-01T11:41:00.000-08:002012-01-01T11:41:59.605-08:00mental health issuesthere were many reasons why i did not want to do pot at all for nearly 20 years<br />
some of it was religious views, some it was fear of getting caught or something like that, but i think the main reason was because of mental health issues<br />
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i live with bi-polar depression and when i was in my late teens i experimented with marijuana a handful of times and they were bad experiences<br />
i typically think of those times as turning into a 6 year old - i would get out of control and even on a little dose, i would really offend people. i was saying rude things, crying, and being very clingy...<br />
one time i hallucinated in a few ways that scared me, but now that i think of it, the pot must have had some other things in it... i may share that story some time<br />
i was also untreated and very unstable anyway, so i guess the drug made me more of who i was<br />
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anyway, i was afraid to have those things happen and suffer the rejection again... i still am afraid to take it around others. i spend time with people that do it and one of my biggest issues is being concerned of offending them - i also am overcautious about driving under the influence of anything. i get anxious about a lot of things. on the west coast its no big deal to get caught with a little bag of pot, but the thought of that terrifies me. some of it has to do with my self-image... i have a background in ministry and church work. i hate to think of me being a stoner, but im not much of a preacher anymore, its been a while since i have delivered a sermon.<br />
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even though i have had some positive experiences this first month, i admit that a few times after i had a pretty good sized dose, i have felt extremely depressed. like nearly paralized. it was more then just my normal mood swings, it felt like intense fatigue and exhaustion. im still trying to figure out more about that. another problem with this is that a manic phase can often follow a down like this. i found that smoking a little really helps in these kind of emergencies. i just dont want this to add to my highs and lows i normally have. i also am concerned about medication reactions... i have a lot more to say about all of this...the marijuana experimenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01960857261217246533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7295103637592569072.post-58427557820790645552011-12-31T10:59:00.000-08:002011-12-31T10:59:51.026-08:00atom heart motheri am in my 3rd week since my laser eye surgery and have smoked four times since then<div>the last few times, after my protective contacts were out, i would get a small sharp pain in one eye followed by blurriness</div><div>the cure was to take a long hot shower... i asked the dr and found out it was just really dry eyes, yeah pot does that</div><div>so i am holding off for a while until i have to stop moistening my eyes so much</div><div><br />
</div><div>a few days after the surgery, it was very uncomfortable so when i was on vicoden, i took a few good hits and listened to headphones</div><div>i put on pink floyd's atom heart mother which i never liked</div><div>this time i really understood this album and really enjoyed it!</div>the marijuana experimenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01960857261217246533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7295103637592569072.post-50560246885900072302011-12-18T22:55:00.000-08:002011-12-18T22:55:51.313-08:00surgeryi tried a few times taking some hits after corrective laser eye surgery<br />
nice experiences, i think the strong pain pills were mixing so i felt pretty out there<br />
i do sleep after that so i try to make sure its ok to nap or at bedtime...<br />
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it did bring a lot of relief to my eyes...the marijuana experimenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01960857261217246533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7295103637592569072.post-22286110407535184392011-12-15T22:03:00.000-08:002011-12-15T22:03:32.889-08:004th try - social issues with friends and family and faithi had 2 little hits and a strong one after coming home with a big headache due to a pill reaction<br />
i felt better but was a bit spaced out<br />
i also did not get dizzy much at all and was able to do things<br />
smoking does not seem quite as strange like it did sunday<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://tosh.comedycentral.com/blog/files/2011/04/pot-smoking-bunny.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://tosh.comedycentral.com/blog/files/2011/04/pot-smoking-bunny.jpg" width="300" /></a></div><br />
i was about to take another hit later on in the evening but felt like i had enough - when i tried i could not get a good hit and things like that make me wonder, then it could be just that i also don't know what i am doing<br />
i place a lot of heightened meaning to coincidental events<br />
i was watching a preacher this week who seemed to be telling me to stop what i was doing<br />
i have these preachers on as part of my experiment - and its really strange what goes through my mind! sometimes i think they are talking right to me if i am unsure about something, its like i am wanting them to think for me when i don't know what to do<br />
i want to do something that has been against my conscience and practice my faith as much as i can at the same time instead of abandoning it like i used to if i was in a similar situation<br />
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i hung out with a friend of mine who is in recovery today - if he found out he may have to stay away from me - i took him to a party a few years ago where they were taking a few hits in the basement and it triggered him so much that he will not come back<br />
he also really looks up to me and i am worried it may make him weak<br />
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so much to deal with...<br />
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my mom is picking me up tomorrow for me to get corrective eye laser work done<br />
i worry that she will find out without me telling her, and i am thinking of telling her and even though i think it will be ok, i also fear it could be a mess<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.demotivationalposters.org/image/demotivational-poster/small/0910/noone-hippy-past-pot-smoking-nun-sound-of-drum-music-bum-a-t-demotivational-poster-1255986108.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="268" src="http://www.demotivationalposters.org/image/demotivational-poster/small/0910/noone-hippy-past-pot-smoking-nun-sound-of-drum-music-bum-a-t-demotivational-poster-1255986108.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>the marijuana experimenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01960857261217246533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7295103637592569072.post-92225968433409786502011-12-15T21:39:00.000-08:002011-12-15T21:39:41.065-08:00third try - and religious debateswednesday the 14th was a total day off to i tried it a few times that day a few hits at a time<br />
my first few hits early afternoon made me sleep until dark after i did sleep nearly 12 hours the night before<br />
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one thing i notice is that my typical breathing in my diaphragm is usually tight, that it relaxes and i can take deeper breaths<br />
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i also tried after upsetting my tennis elbow and got a little relief but i still had to put it on ice<br />
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<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">this kind of marijuana i got has a lemon smell</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">tastes really bad</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">seems to have light drags until i get it lit real good and its too intense and i can't hold it in - i feel like a kid! it leaves such a bad taste, i have to drink something with it right away, i also was still coughing sometimes</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><br />
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</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">religious debates</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">last weekend i decided to really peruse this and i was filled with confusion</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">it seemed like i payed attention to anti-drug messages and was reminded of all the things i hear from churches against pot and so-forth </div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">i had a feeling of apathy like i did not care what happened then found myself trying to argue in my mind about whether its ok or not</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">i was afraid to listen to christian music or especially watch preachers on tv, but i still did this week</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">i had a good time at church sunday, but knowing i was going to pick up a bag of pot that night made me feel uneasy</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">the funny thing was that we went out that evening and the church folks as well as the pastor were drinking alcohol which i really don't do at all</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">many christians are ok with drinking but i did not even want to mention marijuana because i know its a pretty taboo subject, even with an inclusive church like mine, i even volunteer there</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">i wondered when i would let them know about this and if i could still work there?</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">my devotional reading tuesday was about following your conscience and i honestly don't know where i am on this subject</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">the hardest thing for me is my self image</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">i just cant picture me as someone who smokes</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">i have also spoke against this for nearly 2 decades! maybe im brainwashed</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">i have been more liberal in my faith the last 5 years</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">every year or so i try something that i thought was evil</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">like secular music and expressing my sexuality</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">this is no different and i may just decide that its wrong for me</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">i don't want to feel like its wrong for everyone though, ive been thereā¦</div>the marijuana experimenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01960857261217246533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7295103637592569072.post-10320415895393757642011-12-13T11:27:00.000-08:002011-12-13T11:27:14.651-08:00entry 3<div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"></div><div style="font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">second day was better, and for some reason, when i started my sore throat went away</div><div style="font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">drinking a lot of water with this</div><div style="font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
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</div><div style="font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">after the 3 hits i thought i would try a few things...</div><div style="font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">playing music: easy</div><div style="font-size: medium; font: normal normal normal 16px/normal Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">on the computer : hard</div><br />
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</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">a few hours later i took two more hits</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">here is what i found</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">hungry again!!!</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">im 240 lbs and wondering if i will gain more</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">golly they are right about this stuff, it makes you peckish </div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">watched starwars ep 2 and it went fast and the only part i really enjoyed was the music at the ending credits, it was amazing</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">i fell asleep on the couch and awoke startled over nothing</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">when i closed my eyes i actually believed that i was at the house i grew up in, very strange experience...</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">crawled into bed again without brushing my teeth like the night before and did not even change into my nighties </div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><br />
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</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">the first thing i noticed my first night was how circulation improved</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;">i have minor heart problems and often have cold feet and i noticed right away sensation in my legs and feet</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><br />
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</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">i did get some tightness in chest </div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><br />
</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">hot palms... sounds like a town in southern california!</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><br />
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</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">the next morning i awoke grogy and tired and sore and lazy, but thats normal for me!</div><div style="font: 16.0px Times; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">i have a frog in my throat but not really sore at all</div>the marijuana experimenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01960857261217246533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7295103637592569072.post-15728099502245016092011-12-12T21:08:00.000-08:002011-12-12T21:08:42.307-08:00second time...second time the next night is ok<div><br />
</div><div>just took 3 hits almost an hour ago</div><div><br />
</div><div>had a sore throat all day from last night - pretty spacy but calm most of the day</div><div><br />
</div><div>my mind feels cloudy</div><div>ears and head feel a ibt plugged or feels heavy or something</div><div>back pain is a bit better</div><div><br />
</div><div>im dizy now and need to get back on the couch...</div>the marijuana experimenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01960857261217246533noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7295103637592569072.post-34158441451616864902011-12-12T15:56:00.000-08:002011-12-12T15:56:14.635-08:00entry 1had my first hit in about 20 years - december 11th, 2011<br />
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i took 3 hits before bedtime<br />
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my lower back pain nearly went away<br />
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got a bit dizzy<br />
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was spaced out and had trouble remembering little things i normally do at night<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.marijuanaseedbanks.com/images/marijuana_bud_pics/images/marijuana_bud_closeup.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://www.marijuanaseedbanks.com/images/marijuana_bud_pics/images/marijuana_bud_closeup.jpg" width="240" /></a></div><br />
i coughed more than i thought i would<br />
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had some brief sinus pain<br />
woke up with a pretty bad sore throat the next daythe marijuana experimenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01960857261217246533noreply@blogger.com0