goodie bag

today i went to my first medical marijuana potluck. there were raffle prizes and everyone got a goodie bag. i was expecting a ball point pen, post it notes and maybe some brochures and stuff like that. instead, it was full of cannabis products! although i did not win anything in the raffle, there was a conservative looking middle aged couple near me that gave me this jar of glycerine for making tinctures. i also got, pictured lower left, a baby food jar of oil tincture. the rest of the stuff i got in the bag was: 2 bags of clippings to make tinctures and butter, a cigarette style joint, a baggie filled with candies plus a few chewy candies, some kind of cookie piece that tastes like lawn clippings, a couple of huge beautiful fresh buds, and a tiny cupcake that i thought was half cooked until i cooked it to find out it was a creme filling! there were also representatives from clubs and dispensaries and one very clean cut young man was passing out very nicely stuffed joints. also pictured is some reading from various sources that are available... oh yeah, all the candies and sweets are edibles or what they call 'medibles'

they left me a note to wait an hour between taking any edibles because the effects come later. i am so sensitive, i can feel it right away

oh yeah, pictured on the left lower corner is a folded pile of papers that is now my identification before my card comes in the mail. until they print my card, i get this month or two basically for free
also, people kept giving me bags of clippings, i want to figure out what i can do with them

it's cool to have all this stuff legal, but im still wanting to be anonymous... i hope im helping folks to make an informed decision. i was thinking of how church culture does not seem to demonstrate moderation. all of the drug testimonies you hear in church started with pot and went into careless living, most of the time leading to hard drugs. then they quit everything only to go nuts again a few years later. there is also not a lot preached about moderation when it comes to prescription medication and especially over eating! i wish most churches can accept folks like us, especially those of us who are medical marijuana patients. then there are folks on disability, that i think we should honor. its nice that dispensaries mention wheel chair access and stuff. it really can be a very welcoming, warm and supportive community. they are very strange as you can imagine. one old lady kept repeating about her tincture making and was repeating 'shake the baby'. what a cruel expression. i think she was shook as an infant.

although my experiment about whether or not it was ok for me to use cannabis is over, i am now trying to figure out a good treatment plan. now that its ok in my life, its ok in my house! i dont have to worry about my nosey neighbors who dont know the difference between medicinal and harmful illegal drugs. it is also piece of mind, because i find it very stressful dealing with police.
some day i hope to have a few plants to grow and learn how to make better sweets and stuff. so now, im just trying to be careful about different ways to medicate and how much the various ways to take it. i find that if i take more than i should, it stays in my system and makes me so spacey. i would even be high the whole next day without taking anything, especially if i exercise a lot, that can release the stored thc. i notice that i dont get enough done, but its hard to tell if that is depression as well. when i started this a year and a half ago, i experienced better pain relief and now i have to take about twice as much to get the same effect but i get more high than i want. so i try to do it only at night, but i admit that i have been a social smoker a lot lately.

well, i hope seekers of cannabis treatments can take these dilemmas to prayer and study if you are a devoted christian. you may find that it is not for you, or that maybe God has a different plan for you.

thanks for reading,

roman zate

dispensaries!!!

a lot has happened in the last eight months!

most of my experiences with my further experiments with hemp products have been pretty positive. i still struggle with some confusion surrounding my christianity and my use of the drug. whenever you introduce something into your life that you were against doing, there is a process of changing your mind and being sensitive to your conscience. i just cant dive in head first. i think it is similar to when i started being ok with my sexuality after running from it for over a decade. there have been a handful of times where i go to 'medicate' and i can sense in my spirit, 'do i really need that?' so, i am trying to take it when i need it, not because i crave it, like food addiction... another thing is that i dont want to become emotionally addicted to it, like, and this sounds corny, but new users can agree that we can 'fall in love' with it. i also want to take anxieties and racing thoughts to prayer and contemplation before i go to medicate. i dont want pot to take the place of christ in my life.

so, this week was the first time i could get into dispensaries! i have long crazy stories about the medical marijuana process and how flakey everything seems to be. my impression overall based on my experiences, and this may hurt our cause by saying this, but the whole 'medical' thing seems to not be taken seriously. it really seems like a front for those who are recreational users. none of the professionals in the clinics and dispensaries seemed to have any confident advice about certain conditions! i am not really being 'treated' for anything as far as i am concerned. even though they were mostly very friendly and took a lot of precautions, there was a feeling of that i was just to get what ever pot that i wanted. i will try to shed more light on this as i experience more. i did have a bad trip on a 'free sample' i tried. the young lady reminded me of a taco bell worker in training. she was vague, then after i tried the strong hit of oil, she suddenly 'remembered' how paralyzing that stuff was! it was very insulting. i did find a way to walk it off and had food and coffee. i also tried to enjoy the experience instead of feeling guilty or afraid. things got much better after a few hours.

another new thing is that pot is really helping me perform music. i found i was actually more focused musically, i could 'feel' the music better and much to my surprise, i played more rhythmically... i may elaborate more in that later. i have a tendency to be uptight because of my musical background, so its nice to find a way to loosen up and get over some of my stage fright.

i had some fun money come in recently and bought a pax vaporizer! its really nice, but i admit it is a bit of a status symbol.

http://www.ploom.com/pax

thanks for reading, and sorry for the long delay,

roman zate