most of my experiences with my further experiments with hemp products have been pretty positive. i still struggle with some confusion surrounding my christianity and my use of the drug. whenever you introduce something into your life that you were against doing, there is a process of changing your mind and being sensitive to your conscience. i just cant dive in head first. i think it is similar to when i started being ok with my sexuality after running from it for over a decade. there have been a handful of times where i go to 'medicate' and i can sense in my spirit, 'do i really need that?' so, i am trying to take it when i need it, not because i crave it, like food addiction... another thing is that i dont want to become emotionally addicted to it, like, and this sounds corny, but new users can agree that we can 'fall in love' with it. i also want to take anxieties and racing thoughts to prayer and contemplation before i go to medicate. i dont want pot to take the place of christ in my life.
so, this week was the first time i could get into dispensaries! i have long crazy stories about the medical marijuana process and how flakey everything seems to be. my impression overall based on my experiences, and this may hurt our cause by saying this, but the whole 'medical' thing seems to not be taken seriously. it really seems like a front for those who are recreational users. none of the professionals in the clinics and dispensaries seemed to have any confident advice about certain conditions! i am not really being 'treated' for anything as far as i am concerned. even though they were mostly very friendly and took a lot of precautions, there was a feeling of that i was just to get what ever pot that i wanted. i will try to shed more light on this as i experience more. i did have a bad trip on a 'free sample' i tried. the young lady reminded me of a taco bell worker in training. she was vague, then after i tried the strong hit of oil, she suddenly 'remembered' how paralyzing that stuff was! it was very insulting. i did find a way to walk it off and had food and coffee. i also tried to enjoy the experience instead of feeling guilty or afraid. things got much better after a few hours.
another new thing is that pot is really helping me perform music. i found i was actually more focused musically, i could 'feel' the music better and much to my surprise, i played more rhythmically... i may elaborate more in that later. i have a tendency to be uptight because of my musical background, so its nice to find a way to loosen up and get over some of my stage fright.
i had some fun money come in recently and bought a pax vaporizer! its really nice, but i admit it is a bit of a status symbol.
http://www.ploom.com/pax
roman zate
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