what a disaster

what a disaster...

i had a really bad experience in feburary
i was doing live music one night and thought i would give it a try and i smoked a hit with a few very small puffs after that and in an hour or so i totally became unable to do anything at all
turns out that that what i was given was this type of grass that was called zz, and i had never tried it - its known to put some folks to sleep
within a few songs in the gig, i could hardly sing, i could not seem to get the right volume from my instrument i was so out of it and that if something upset me, it was like everyone was in my head
it got me so anxious that it caused me to shut down which made me even more afraid making a sort of downward spiral - then my hands felt heavy like i could not lift them then my head sank down
i was so embarrassed and the others tried to help me but i waited until i was able to muster up enough strength to leave - i walked a few blocks in the cold night air to wake me up and found a grocery store where i got a starbucks energy drink and a sandwich - i felt a lot better in about an hour, but i have less trust in myself to make informed enough choices in these kind of circles

i did have a nice valentines day, my ex came over and he brought a little grass he called blue sunshine or something - i tried it a few times after that and it gave me the giggles - i would take a few hits in the middle of the simpsons and then laugh through the second half, not the first half of the show

its weird how different kinds of grass can have such different results
i was given something called 'train wreck' and it was very stony, but the stuff that smells like lemons is pretty mellow

i sure learned my lesson about smoking while working, driving and with others - especially with trying out new kinds of grass
also, it may have had something to do with a piece of homemade chocolate that i got from a few hippy ladies... i have so much to learn..